I started writing this note about ten times tonight but I just cannot find the right words.... It has now been almost four weeks.... man, it feels more like four months to me... it feels like I have not slept in that long... I am sure you feel the same.... you have to much of a conscience to not let this bother you... I don’t know much but I do know that you care.
I have one thing that I still need to say to you... The night that you left I came and spoke to you and not long after that I sent you a text message... You texted me back that you loved us but I never saw that until the next morning…. I feel so bad that I did not see it and somehow I feel that if I responded to you right away you might not have left. I am really sorry about that... I want to say that you know that we love you but I am not sure that you do... Just so you know, we really do love you...
I had a call from Debbie today – actually I have a call from Debbie every day - they are all just as woried about you. She said that she had a dream last night...... Her, Regan and the girls where all here and when she looked up you where walking down the driveway..... She asked you where you where all this time and you told her that you were at the beach and that you lost track of time.... It made me smile because you do daydream - or maybe you get lost in thought and I can see you being so pulled into your surroundings that you will get lost in it and also lose track of time.... And that is not a bad thing....
I BELIEVE that you will come home when you are ready.... Know that you will always be welcome back - this is your home and everything is waiting for you just the way you left it - like I said before - we (yes, both of us) will come and get you no matter where you are.... from this moment on things will never be the same - and I will tell you this much - it is most certainly for the better for all of us... I am not trying to convince you and I am not trying to persuade you.... You have to do what you believe in your heart is the right thing to do and you have to do it when you are ready to do it… all I ask is that you let us know that you are OK…. We are all very worried about you and whether we want to or not, it is giving all of us sleepless nights.
We all just want to let you know that we LOVE you very much – Dad, me, Regan, Debbie and the girls, Heinrich, Susan and the girls, all your cousins, aunts, uncles.... and last but not the least – the people at the college – they are all very concerned about you...
One last thing before I say goodnight - there is nothing good about the fact that you left except that I now pray every day... and I will never again stop because without that I am not sure that I would have gotten through the past four weeks.
I hope you sleep very well tonight...
Lots of Love
Dad and Ma
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