Sunday, March 4, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-03-04 - 11:59pm

It is pretty late (1:30am) and I have to be at work early but I cannot put this off until tomorrow.... Putting things off until tomorrow is the reason why I am writing to you as opposed to talking to you....

I had a thought tonight....

I realized that you were trying so hard to be everything that everyone else around you wanted you to be that you never really had time to just be you.... If you are not happy with yourself, no relationship that you enter into will ever work out.... I hope that you take this the right way - you are a great person and you should not have to change for anyone.... adapt a little, yes, but completely change, that is not good for anyone. 
To have a good relationship you need a good foundation - if your foundation is built on a lie that is not a very strong foundation.  It also takes a lifetime to build a good relationship...  we can't give up if things don't go the way we want them to....   the only way to get what you want in life is to fight for it...  I am trying now but without your help I can not make it work....

I know you really want to build a relationship with your dad and I am telling you, NOW is the time. There is no ways that I am going to lie to you just to lose you again..... that I promise you.  Please just give him a second change.... actually give both of us a second change - believe me - you will not be sorry. I know that you want to prove to us that you can go out in the world and make it on your own - I understand that and I have no doubt that you can or will - but I don't think that this is the right time to do it or the the right way you went about this... I know that you are hurting and at the same time you are hurting so many people that you love (and that loves you) and if I know nothing else, I know that you will never intentionally hurt anyone... that is not in you... 

I cannot say that no good came from this because it got me praying - mostly for you to be safe and to come home...  but once you do you can teach me a thing or two...  I would love to learn from you.

I looked at the "Stepmother" card today that you make me for Mothers day... that was so thoughtful and so sweet... I look at it often and I have to laugh.... you always try to make other people happy..... Work with me and we will try to make you happy!!  PLEASE!

Please just bury your pride and be brave once again and come back home. You have had to be brave so many times in your life... and I am truly sorry about that... please give us one more chance to make you happy!!!

Rocky - we really love you and we need you!!!

Your dad was in the Urgent Care yesterday morning.... he has been as sick as a dog...  In the 21+ years that we have been married I have never seen him like this... I am not trying to make you feel guilty - that is the last thing I want - what I am trying to do is make you realize that if you don't give him another chance he will NEVER get over this.  This is not your fault but you are the only one that can fix this.  And maybe you don't want to anymore - all I ask is that you tell him that in person.  I promise you - he will listen to you.

Sleep well and remember we love you and we miss you!!

Dad and Ma

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