Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 05-30-2012 - 9:30am

Rocky is still not home but we are so grateful that he is alive and well. He calls us often and speaks for a few minutes at a time.... We are still praying for his safe return to us and hope that you all are too.

We believe that he will be home soon and this time for good.

Please remember to tell the people in your life how much you love them - don't assume that they know. That might be the biggest mistake that you can ever make....

Love you Rocky - look forward to your calls and can't wait to see you!!

Dad & Ma

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 05-15-2012 - 11:59pm

This is my last entry - I am still writing but now I have an "address" to write to....

I have so much to say that I hardly know where to start.  

On Thursday my husband decided to stay in Jacksonville, Florida for one more day before heading back to Texas.  He even bought bicycles to make sure that no stone is unturned.....   Needless to say it was a really long day.  In the mean time I missed a phone call that was about to change our lives.....   The phone call was to say that they found Rocky.....   He was alive and now we knew where he was....   His dad did not hesitate for a minute, he got in the car and headed towards Georgia ........     How exciting but at the same time so emotional and soooo scary because you have no idea what to expect.....    Did Rocky even want to see us,? Did he want to talk with us? Will he be willing to accept our apology?  All these question like so many others in the past three months....  BUT at this stage nothing mattered, Rocky was alive and we were so grateful for this.

The first thing I did was to thank God that he was alive.  We have to work on the rest later.  I prayed so much in the past week but the difference this time was I finally understood what it was to hand your problems over to God in stead of trying to handle everything yourself.  This was not because of our perseverance or because we drove so far looking, it is simply because of the grace of God.  

We still have some hurdles to overcome but I believe with all my heart that this is still going to work out and our family will be reunited soon.  We continue praying.....

We saw him on Sunday and again on Monday before we headed back to Texas. He is looking great and is in good spirits. This is truly a blessing and we pray that God willing, we will be reunited very soon.

Rocky, we love you very much and we will make sure that from now on you are our number one priority, whether you are five or ninety five, you will always be our child and we will always be there for you!!!! Don't you EVER again forget that.... We are very grateful and very proud to have a son like you.....

Dad and Ma

PS: Thanks so much for all the support, advice and most of all prayers from everyone that read this blog. Please continue to pray for us because Rocky is not quite home yet.....

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-05-12 - 10:00pm

We have a huge breakthrough so I will update the blog tomorrow night with the latest news...... We are on the other side of the country and tomorrow is going to be a very big day for us.

Please pray for us so we can bring Rocky home soon.

Let's just say for right now, we are happier today then we have been in at least three months!!!


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-05-09 - 10:00pm

This is going to be a short note because tonight I am not very happy....

You know what the consequences are of you not getting back to school so PLEASE thinks very hard about your next step. You might think that you are playing a game or that you are very clever to hide from the world, but you know what, you are jeapodizing your future.

Your dad is in Florida, Daytona Beach to be exact until tomorrow morning. He then starts driving back to Texas. So, you have two choices.....
- Call him and get a ride with him from wherever you are. He will come and pick you up no matter where you are. His number will be in your Facebook email.
- Ignore this and pay the price for your actions. Just remember, you make this bed, you lie in it.

We have now done EVERYTHING we could and much much more to make up for anything we could ever have done to harm you you so this will be the last time that we spend any time or money looking for you.... After all, you are 27 years old and are responsible for your own actions.

We want to help you, get you through college, get you your job back, see if we can get you a sport scholarship, get the grant that was approved but YOU, AND ONLY YOU, can make this happen.

We are running out of time so this needs to happens really fast. You cannot blame anyone else for this - if you decide to keep on roaming around, that is fine but if things don't work out the way you planned, you only have yourself to blame for it after today.

We love you and we miss you,
Dad and Ma

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-05-08 - 10:00pm

Hi Rocky,

What would I give to just sit and talk to you - person to person.... Mothers Day is coming up this weekend and I figured if you missed my birthday than there is no way that you are even going to think of me on Mothers Day.... I still have the card that you made me last year and I will keep that forever..... it was so sweet..... you always make the word "Stepmother" sounds like a wonderful thing.... you make me feel special..... thank you so much for that.... Thanks for making me feel like a mother for the first time in my life last year....

Some people believe in coincidence - I believe in miracles..... I believe that God is always at work to help us - to listen to us and to answer
our prayers..... I realize that not all of our prayers are answered. Sometimes it is for our own good. Sometimes it just takes longer for God to answer our prayers because the time is not right....

We drove to Florida about six weeks ago - your dad lost his wallet and a person from Houston (now living in Florida) picked it up and called him. There was only one business card in the wallet and the guy found the number and called us - we were only one block away from where he had a restaurant and bar. That to me was a micacle.

This morning I prayed for another miracle - just a sign that you are alive.... anything..... I think that we have a solid lead but I am still praying that your dad finds you. That this is over by the end of this week. That I get home and you come running out of your room to come and say hi.... Rocky, there are - as usual - many people praying for your to come home.... for your safe return.... As soon as I am done with this I am going to go on my knees and pray that God keeps you safe - that He leads you home to where you belong - that he reunites you with your Dad...... I believe in miracles and I believe that God is going to answer our prayers..... I believe that you are coming home.

I know that I have no right to ask you this but if you can find it in your heart - please make this another special Mothers Day for me.....

I love you and miss you very much,

Monday, May 7, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-05-07 - 11:00pm

There is so much that I want to say to you tonight but I don't ever want you to think that I am mad at you....

I am frustrated, I am sad, I am mad at myself, I am scared..... those are just some of the feeling that I have at the moment..... To be honest with you, I don't even know if you are alive. You wrote to me on March 14th - just a few sentences but that was not enough.... no one has seen you or heard from you in almost two months.... It is so scary not to know.... The police is not doing anything, they assume that you left on your own so you are fine. WE JUST DON'T KNOW!!!

I trust that you are safe but there is that little fear that creeps in every now and again: "What if he is not OK"? I dont even want to tell your dad what I am thinking.... everytime I do that, I pray to God just to keep you safe, to let you contact us and just tell us where you are. I know that this is not easy for you but this is so much harder for everyone that loves you and that careS about you. You know where we all are - you have the power to contact us whenever you like but for us, there is noting to confort us, nothing to make us feel better, no number that we can call just to talk with you.

Like I said, I am not mad at you but if I could only talk to you, just hear your voice.... It would be so much better than to not know.... this is driving me crazy. I go though stages where I am fine, where I believe everything is ok... I pray every day, I know that there are still hundreds of people praying for you every day, people all over the world - praying that God keeps you safe, praying that you will come home, praying that you have food to eat.... I mostly want you to be happy, I hope that you have someone to talk to, someone that cares about you as much as we do... I am also a little selfish because I really just want to to come home.

Rocky, I don't care if people think that I am making a fool of myself for begging you to come home... I don't care to admit that I made many mistakes when it comes to you... I don't care what anyone thinks of me - all I care about right now is that we find you and that you come back home to us. I would like nothing more than for you to have a family, to feel a part of a family and to give you everything that you ever wanted - and I am not talking about material things, I am talking about love, respect, support - all of those things.

It is so nice to see that some of the flyers that we mailed out actually made it to the doors of some of the shelters. The minister that put this flyer up also called me and gave me some really good advice when I was there. She is doing such a wonderful job at the shelters but there is such a shortage of money and people to help.

Just so you know - we are running around all over the country looking for you.... you dad is so sad and so disappointed when he gets home at night and we found nothing. But you know what - we get up the next morning and start all over again.... hoping for a better day.... and praying for the outcome that we all so badly need....

We love you and miss you so much,

Dad and Ma

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-05-06 - 11:59pm

Hi Rocky,  

As always I hope that you had a wonderful day, met some interesting people and are safe, not hungry and as happy as you can be....  for now...

I almost wish that I can tell you to keep a diary of your experience.....  Even though your dad and I miss you so much and would like nothing more than for you to come home, there are a lot of good that is coming from this.....

.......... We realize that life is to short to keep looking back - we realize that we have to make the best of every day because the people that are in our lives today may not be here tomorrow;
.......... Don't judge people - you don't know what they have gone through (or might still be going through);
.......... Don't look down on people - just because they have less than you does not mean that you are better than them;
.......... Forgive people - don't go to bed mad;
.......... Admit your mistakes - don't be to proud to admit that you could be wrong;
.......... It is hard to apologize to people so if someone has the courage to apologize, have the courage to forgive;
.......... Don't be to proud to ask for help;
.......... Don't be to proud to accept help;
.......... We realize that if you did not leave we would not have realized all of these things....

So, in a way we have to thank you for leaving BUT please come back now...   We have learned a very expensive lesson and I can promise you that things have changed....  They will never be the same again.....  It will be everything that you have prayed for and more.....

We are all human and as that we make mistakes.  Don't let these mistakes ruin relationships....  Especially not the type of relationships that needs to last a lifetime....    With a significant other, parents, children, friends, anyone that has meaning in your life....   Fight for what you want because if you wait to long it might be to late.... 

A man told your dad today that he knows you very well and that you guys drink together every day....   Both your dad and I knew that that is not true because we believe in you, we trust you and we know that you are responsible enough not to do that.  Every parent wants to believe that their child is the best....  We know that and we believe in you.  Now all you need to do is to believe in yourself and in us.  At this stage YOU are the only person that has it in his power to give us all another try.....   Honestly, what do you have to lose?

I am on my flight right now, the moon is just coming out on the horizon....  It is beautiful ....  I have to wonder if you are also looking at that....  What are you thinking?  What are you feeling?  Where are you?  Are you ever planning on coming home?  Are you ever going to talk with us again?  Are you with someone or are you alone?  Are you sad?  Are you happy?

The first week after you left I thought that I will never get through this...   I pretty much lay in bed 18 hours a day, I did not want to celebrate my birthday, I did not want to laugh, all I wanted to do was cry and feel sorry for myself .....  Then something amazing happened....  I realized that for once in my life I am not in control....   I had to trust God with his one....   I had to pray every day and believe God is working on this one for me......   You know what, I got up, I started talking to people, I started working on a plan...  I could breath, I could get through this one because I was no longer alone - I needed God...  I have not stopped praying since....  I even go to church.....   I don't make it there every Sunday but you know what, I pray and pray and pray....   And I believe that God is keeping you safe and that he will let us find you when the time is right....  Of course I hope that it is soon but of course that is just me.....

We have all of these questions and because of no fault of yours we may never have answers.....   I just want to remind you again.....  We are not mad at you...  We do not blame you for any of this...  We will never send you away, no matter how many times we threaten you...  We love you more than we even realized...   We are proud of you, not only for what you accomplished with your GED and in college, but also for having the courage to take a stand and to prove yourself to everyone....     Please if you can find it in your heart to forgive us, please contact us and let us at least hear your voice.....

Rocky, I can not state enough that we love you and that we miss you and that we are sorry about everything that we did wrong by you in the past two years but please let us help you....  We would love nothing more than that...  No matter what happened before, can we please put it behind us and only look forward...

Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-05-05 - 11:59pm

Hi there,

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend..... Susan and I left early this morning to drive back to Houston .... Your dad stayed behind in Florida as I mentioned last night.....

We drove to New Orleans to go check one more time if you were there.... We check the two big shelters.... The one on O.C. Hailey and the one on Kamp street. We spoke to numerous people in the French Quarter, we walked through Jackson square, we handed out flyers, photo's and tried whatever were could...... We stopped under the bridge where all the homeless people gather (close to the shelter on O.C. Hailey and found a few people that said that they have seen you as recently as this morning.). When we followed up on the leads none of then really added up. Last we went to the public library...... You will never guess who we ran into there.... Wayne..... He said that you were his little brother and that if we talk to you we must tell you that he said hi.... He also posed for a photo for you...... See the insert..... I wish that you stayed with him.... at least we know that he is one of the good guys.

We are driving back to Houston now... Susan is driving so I am writing to you.... I normally write just before I go to bed but we won't be home until almost 1:00am so I have to finish now.

This has been such a humbling experience to me.....
- First of all I realize that I should never take anything for granted. We did that with you and now we might have lost you forever....
- Secondly, don't judge people by their appearance. We met so many homeless people that wanted to help us find you. They did not want any money from us..... All they wanted to do was make sure that you are safe and that we find you....
- I realize that any of us can end up in that situation at any time. These days nothing is guaranteed. Today I can have a job and tomorrow not.
- I was always scared of homeless people.... Today we spoke with a young girl, she is the same age as you. Her father is dead, her moth live in Arizona and wants nothing to do with her and she called her brother in Austin and he is not willing t help her. Susan and I were crying with her and hugged her but we felt helpless to do anything for her. We gave her the name of a women's shelter that can help her...
- We realized that there are many wonderful people in this world - people that will donate money, time and in some cases their entire lives to helping people in need....

So, from now on I will help a person by buying them food, volunteer at shelters and just try and be friendlier to people.... And I will remember not to judge people.... I don't know how they got where they are and until I know I should not be so fast to judge.....

Rocky, it is sad that there are so many poor, hungry people in this world. Too many and there is not enough people that is willing to help them. You have the means of doing that so in stead taking, how about us giving some back?

One more thing that we also have to realize is that not all people are good - whether they have money or not, whether they live in a big house or in a small shack or whether they live on the streets - there are bad people in this world also and by doing the things we are doing right now we are putting ourselves in danger. Like I mentioned before - you should not judge people by their apperance, some people that look good can be bad. That being said, sometimes following up on leads can put us in more danger than what we are willing to admit. People could set traps for us but because we are so eager to find you, we will follow any lead, no matter how small. I will leave you with this though right now....

We love you and we miss you and we will help you no matter what.... just contact us.

Lots of love,
Dad and Ma

Friday, May 4, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-05-04 - 11:00pm

I guess I can not stop myself....  It feels like I am letting you down if I don't write to you.....

Well, you dad and I spoke okay and decided, what the heck...  Why try and keep it a secret that we are looking for you....  We are flying blind and for all we know we are not even in the same state that you are in right now....

Your dad, me and Susan left the house just after midnight on Tuesday evening....   We hardly left and one of the windshield wipers broke.  We stopped at Walmart about three miles from where we started and had to buy new wiper blades and install them.....  Here we were at 1am, sitting on our butts in the parking lot in front of Walmart trying to read the directions on how to install then.....   We at least got out of there before 2am.....   We drove into New Orleans at around 8am and then went on to Gulfport, MS.  We visited all the homeless shelters, soup kitchens, spoke to local people, distributed flyers and photo's and you know what, we had no luck....  No-one had seen you out there.....    I have to tell you that from earlier leads we were made to believe that you were no longer in New Orleans so we stopped perusing that avenue....   We have been waiting for a lead but we have nothing....  We decided to move on and try further west than that....  The reason for us being in Mississippi that morning....  It was raining really hard and at the first shelter your dad pulled the truck right up to the building so that Susan and I could jump out without getting to wet....  When we walked in there was a young man that looked just like you.....   My heart almost stopped....  I was so excited but at the same time so scared.......    Well when I looked closer I realized that it was not you.....    It felt like I lost you all over when I have not even found you.....

Well, it kept on raining as we drove on, getting worse as the day went on.....   By the time we got to Biloxi, Mississippi, there were flash flood warnings all over the place.....   We stopped at every shelter, greyhound bus stop, talked to locals, handed out flyers and gave people our names and numbers and still, no-one had seen you.  We finally arrived at our hotel and went to bed....   It was a really long day and we know knew .........   Nothing!!!!!...     Well, the positive people we are we did not take this as a bad sight....   At least we did not think you were in Mississippi.......   One more state to check off....     

The next day we moved on to Alabama....  We stopped at all the shelters that we could find....  We stopped at Mobile, Alabama for one....  Same thing....  Went to all the shelters, soup kitchens, spoke the locals....  Still nothing....     We drove down to the beaches......     From the one, to the next the next....   Looking at every person that could potentially be you...  Every time continuing on our  journey, having to realize that we still know NOTHING at all!!!

From there we drove on to Pensacola, Florida......   There we found people that said that they may have seen you....   We don't really go on that or get to excited about that....  We first take all the facts, look into them, verify then and then see where it takes us....   As you know, seeing that we have no idea where you are, leading us no where....   This one person said that he had a beer with you and he saw you at the library on the computer......   We drove to the library but no-one there recognized you so we did not take that to seriously......    Every lead that we get we at so hopeful but at the end of every day - driving back to the hotel, it is very quiet, no-one says a word....  We are all thinking the same thing but no one wants to say a word.......  Sort of disappointed, discouraged,  drained......    Just before we came home yesterday we spoke to someone that said that if he was you that he would go to Panama City....  We decided o drive to Destin and got a hotel there for the night.....

 So guess what we did this morning...   Yes, you guessed right...  We were off to Panama City.....      Visited the Greyhound bus stops, homeless shelters, soup kitchens, spoke with the locals, even stopped a few cops along the road....    Same results as always....  No less, no clues, no Rocky.....  Once again, NOTHING!!!!!     You kind of get used to it....  You pray and pray and pray but still NOTHING!!!!!!  We spent the nigh in a hotel in Destin.....  Beautiful place but we don't really focus on the beautiful beaches, we don't focus on the color of the water, or the white of the sand....  All we do is to look if we can see you in the crowds .......   But NOHING!!!

With no leads anywhere east of Pensacola we decided to spent tonight in a hotel in Pensacola......    Susan and I have to drive back to Texas in the morning because she has to get back to her family and I have to fly to Virginia to go work on Sunday night......  Oh how I wish that I would stay longer with your dad but I have to work......

Well, if you are anywhere between Houston and Florida pease just give your dad a call.....  Just let him know where you are....  We will not try to convince you to come home...  We just need to see that you are really ok......     Please just give him a chance....  He I going to stay another week to see if he has any more lunch.....    

I can not even start t explained to you how hard this is for us......  Please Rocky, pease please please, just talk to us in person........

I have to get to bed...  It is a really long road back home for us two girls and we have a few stops to make before we get back to Houston.....  All just for you.....

Lots and lots of love....
Dad and Ma

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-05-03 - 11:00pm

Hi there,

Nothing has changed, we still love you, we still miss you and we are still proud of you......   And most of all, we still hope that we wake up tomorrow morning and you are back with us....

I don't think that you understand how worried we are about you.....  And how much we care...  And to be honest with you, I don't think we realized how much you are a part of our lives until you walked always three months ago....  Yes, believe it or not, this has been the worst three months of our lives.

I hate to write negative things to you but it is very hard to stay positive with days like today .....   Yet, at the end of the day I pray and thank God that we did not get bad news about you....  In this case no news if definitely better that bad news ...

Today we stopped and talked with some homeless people.  I will never again walk past a homeless person and not take a second look.  Maybe, just maybe it is you.  They have been more helpful than any other people that we have spoken to.  One would think that it gets easier as time goes by but to tell you the truth, it gets harder and harder the more time goes by.  Susan and I have decided that we are going to volunteer at a homeless shelter for thanksgiving from now on.  These are the people that helped us and we would like to return the favor - even if it is not the same shelter or the same people.....  We don't realize how fortunate we are and It does not take much to give a little back to people that are less fortunate than ourselves.  Also, never again will I judge a homeless person, I don't know why there are where they are and I don't know what drove then there - but what I do know, everyone needs a second chance......

It has really been a very long hard day and tomorrow is going to be even harder  so I need to get some sleep so we can face tomorrow.

I hope you have a safe place to sleep tonight and I hope you have food to eat in the morning.

Rocky, if you read this and you can find it in your heart to forgive us for everything that drove you to leave, please give us a call....  Please just talk to us....   We are so worried abut you and we would love to at least hear your voice and just talk with you......   

We love you very much and we really miss you,

Dad and Ma

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-05-02 - 10:00pm

Where we are today it has been raining and raining and then raining some more.... Kind of depressing but at the same ime thankful for the rain..... Today we have been asking questions, looking for answers and begging for help.... None of which came in he form that we would have wanted at all..... Yes, we are in our final attempt to find you....

It is in difficult times that we realize who out true friends are..... Of course you know who you are and those people would not want me to mention them by name - and you know who you are.... We appreciate your calls, your endless hours on the road with us, you searched on the Internet, your comforting phone calls, your text message and the last but certainly not the least your prayers that God will keep Rocky safe and sound. We know that it is not always possible to be with the people that are close o you but just the thought that those people are thinking of you is comfort enough....

Rocky, just as We know that our family and close friends are with us - even if only in thought - I want you to know that we are with you also. The one big difference is that you choose this way for yourself - we did not. We are not innocent, everything but, but you need to make amends because it will eat you up alive if you don't. One day you will look back and regret the choices that yu make today and then it will be to late. Some mistakes are way more costly than others and right now this is going to cost you dearly.... please come back while we can still help you.....

A few weeks ago someone wrote the serenity prayer as a commen on the blog.... After this week we pretty much have no choice than to accept the inevitable.... You just simply don't want to come home..... However hard it would be o accept, it is what it is.... We made our bed and we have to lie in it.... We have two choices:
- We can take all the blame and have to regret it for he rest of our lives;
- Ask for forgiveness and hope that you will return some day so we can make it up to you
- Pray to God to help us to accept this and ask him to be with you wherever you are

I choose the third option so I would like to mention this again (I added an additional piece that I found on the Internet that I thought appropriate for tonight):

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

As always, we love you and miss you very much.

Dad and Ma

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-05-01 - 11:30pm

Hi Rocky,

I hope you had a great May 1st.... we have been a little busy and I am really tired tonight....

I just wanted to say that we love you and we miss you and hope you have a good night and a great day tomorrow.... I will write a nice long note tomorrow night....

Lots of LOVE, HUGS and KISSES,
Dad and Ma