Hi Rocky,
As always I hope that you had a wonderful day, met some interesting people and are safe, not hungry and as happy as you can be.... for now...
I almost wish that I can tell you to keep a diary of your experience..... Even though your dad and I miss you so much and would like nothing more than for you to come home, there are a lot of good that is coming from this.....
.......... We realize that life is to short to keep looking back - we realize that we have to make the best of every day because the people that are in our lives today may not be here tomorrow;
.......... Don't judge people - you don't know what they have gone through (or might still be going through);
.......... Don't look down on people - just because they have less than you does not mean that you are better than them;
.......... Forgive people - don't go to bed mad;
.......... Admit your mistakes - don't be to proud to admit that you could be wrong;
.......... It is hard to apologize to people so if someone has the courage to apologize, have the courage to forgive;
.......... Don't be to proud to ask for help;
.......... Don't be to proud to accept help;
.......... We realize that if you did not leave we would not have realized all of these things....
So, in a way we have to thank you for leaving BUT please come back now... We have learned a very expensive lesson and I can promise you that things have changed.... They will never be the same again..... It will be everything that you have prayed for and more.....
We are all human and as that we make mistakes. Don't let these mistakes ruin relationships.... Especially not the type of relationships that needs to last a lifetime.... With a significant other, parents, children, friends, anyone that has meaning in your life.... Fight for what you want because if you wait to long it might be to late....
A man told your dad today that he knows you very well and that you guys drink together every day.... Both your dad and I knew that that is not true because we believe in you, we trust you and we know that you are responsible enough not to do that. Every parent wants to believe that their child is the best.... We know that and we believe in you. Now all you need to do is to believe in yourself and in us. At this stage YOU are the only person that has it in his power to give us all another try..... Honestly, what do you have to lose?
I am on my flight right now, the moon is just coming out on the horizon.... It is beautiful .... I have to wonder if you are also looking at that.... What are you thinking? What are you feeling? Where are you? Are you ever planning on coming home? Are you ever going to talk with us again? Are you with someone or are you alone? Are you sad? Are you happy?
The first week after you left I thought that I will never get through this... I pretty much lay in bed 18 hours a day, I did not want to celebrate my birthday, I did not want to laugh, all I wanted to do was cry and feel sorry for myself ..... Then something amazing happened.... I realized that for once in my life I am not in control.... I had to trust God with his one.... I had to pray every day and believe God is working on this one for me...... You know what, I got up, I started talking to people, I started working on a plan... I could breath, I could get through this one because I was no longer alone - I needed God... I have not stopped praying since.... I even go to church..... I don't make it there every Sunday but you know what, I pray and pray and pray.... And I believe that God is keeping you safe and that he will let us find you when the time is right.... Of course I hope that it is soon but of course that is just me.....
We have all of these questions and because of no fault of yours we may never have answers..... I just want to remind you again..... We are not mad at you... We do not blame you for any of this... We will never send you away, no matter how many times we threaten you... We love you more than we even realized... We are proud of you, not only for what you accomplished with your GED and in college, but also for having the courage to take a stand and to prove yourself to everyone.... Please if you can find it in your heart to forgive us, please contact us and let us at least hear your voice.....
Rocky, I can not state enough that we love you and that we miss you and that we are sorry about everything that we did wrong by you in the past two years but please let us help you.... We would love nothing more than that... No matter what happened before, can we please put it behind us and only look forward...
LOVE, HUGS & KISSES,
Dad and Ma
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