Hi Rocky,
I did not write last night because when I came home I was waiting for you to come running out of your room.... Once again - nothing.... You are not here... As hard as I try to not let it bother me it makes me so sad to realize that you think that we don't want you here.... Oh how we miss you!!!!!
Today is a rainy day - you left on a rainy day and when it rains I always think that maybe today..... maybe today you will knock on the door....... Oh my gosh, what are we going to do if you don't come home soon..... Yes, I know that life will go on but we will be sad every single day..... When bad things happen to you, you don't ever get over it... you just learn to live with it.....
You still think about it every day.... It still bothers you every day.... You still miss the people that are no longer there (whether they died, had to leave for some reason or left without saying goodbye)... You never forget the people that made an impact on your life... Whether it was for a lifetime, a few years or a few days.... It does not make a difference. The hole that is left in your heart can only be healed if the person that left returns or when you have closure ....
I know in my last post I wrote that the question you have to ask before you do anything is: "What is the worst thing that can happen"..... That is a really positive way to look at life but you know what, I have been doing that for the most part of the last 25 years but since you left that is sooo hard... If I ask myself that question - the answer is that if you decide that you never want to come back again... Rocky, you know what, that scares me soooo much.... I don't know how we will survive that.....
I pray that you get to read this and that by some mirracle you decide on your own to come home.
We love you so much and we really miss you...
Love
Dad and Ma
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