It is Thursday night again - I am on a flight from Norfolk to Houston - through Chicago ...... I am so used to flying that if I don't fly it feels like I have forgotten to do something.....
Every time I fly home I think that this is the weekend that you are coming home, but the more time goes by the less likely it seems that you will ever come home.
It feels like people have forgotten about you.... People only care for a short while and then they move on. Our lives are on hold. You being gone again is the worst thing that could ever happen to us. The fist time was not in your control so we can never hold that against you..... You were very young and that must have been hard for you growing up without a father. We searched for you for almost 13 years and then finally one day, thats to your cousins, we found you...... Your dad did not hesitate for one second - he jumped on the first plane to South Africa to go meet you..... What I remember most of all is how happy he was..... He called everyone to let them know that he found his son.... He was so proud. Not long after that you flew over here to come and visit us..... I remember the good and the not-so-good times. You decided that this was not for you and you went back yo South Africa.
We gave you money, we spoke with you almost every week but then you got mad at your dad and told him that you never wanted to talk to him again.... Your dad moped around and you most likely did the same.... I did not know you very well so I think the two of us only spoke once after that.....
That was a long time ago.......
And then in 2009 your mom got ahold of us and shortly after that we were back in contact with you..... Your dad was vey excited - looked like he won the lottery or something..... You also sounded so excited every time that we spoke with you..... You could not wait to come over stay with us...
It was a major adjustment and within the first eight months you finished high school ...... A major accomplishments for anyone - even more so for someone that has not done any studying in eight or nine years...... A proud moment for any parent...... even a step parent.....
Next came college - first the endless efforts to make sure that you stay legal..... And we always succeeded....... You are still legal.....
You did great - you finished all the courses for your first year already and we could not be any prouder......
..........and then you leave in the middle of the night.....
Rocky, if you have a problem with people you have to deal with it. If you don't, it is going to pop up when you least expect it and more children can get hurt in the process..... Please come home so that we can resolve his...... I am begging you....... As an example - if someone don't want to talk with you, you can write them a letter and explain the issues that you are having. When they calm down and had time to think about it you can have a rational conversation.... People cannot guess what is bothering you if you don't spell it out.... and you cannot do it when everyone is mad.... You have to wait for everyone to calm down before any of it makes sense......
I hope that you understand what I am trying to tell you.....
We don't care where you have been.......
We don't care what you have been up to.......
We don't care who you were with.....
We don't care how you got there......
We don't care how far away you are right now.......
The only thing that we care about right now is that you talk to us..... Give us an opportunity to say that we are sorry..... Give us the opportunity to come and get you no matter where you are..... If you come home this weekend I will work from home next week.... I won't ever go into the office.....
That is all for now..... I hope that you have a great nights sleep and please remember that you always have a place in this house.....
As always, we love you and we miss you,
Dad and Ma
Rocky, I hope you are reading this blog & I hope you will soon realize how very loved you are. I live in Hilltop Ranch, have read this blog from day one & even though I do not know you or your parents, I feel pain for what all of you are going through. I have no idea what you have experienced in your life except for what I gather from reading this. I am not much older than you & have 2 brothers close to your age, 23 & 25 years old. We learned at a very young age to NOT take anything for granted. We lost our dad unexpectedly when we were young. No warning, no good-bye. Since that day, I make sure that everyone knows how I feel & that if anything does happen, there will be no regrets. My brothers & our mom do the same. Some days might be harder than others, because every family has their disagreements. But, at the end of the day, no matter what you do, your family is the one constant, the people who will go to the ends of the earth for you. I don't want you to ever have regrets. Please don't take your parents for granted, please call them & let them know how you are. Listen to what they have to say....nothing bad can come of that right? They have been punished more than you could imagine. Once you become a parent you will understand - one day without your child, not knowing where they are, how they are doing is just the same as living in hell. I pray for you & your family everyday & I hope I get to meet you one day. Take Care & I hope you have a blessed Easter (what great day it would be if you decided to resurrect your family too!)
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