Today was no different than every day for the past three weeks - wake up and wish this was all a bad dream just to realize that we are living this nightmare.... Unless you come home or at least let us know where you are, the rest of my life will be the same... I will wake up every morning wondering why I did not realize that you were going to leave.... I know that people tell me: "
He is 27 - he knew what he was doing...." but you know what - I don't believe that for a second. I think that you left because you felt that you did not have a choice..... and I am sure that if I was in your shoes I would have felt the same way..... Well - let me tell you something today - you could not be further from the truth than that.... We would never send you back home - other than going to visit there your place is here with us... you belong here.
There is a saying:
IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING SET IT FREE - IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU IT IS YOURS - IF IT DOESN'T IF NEVER WAS...... I wish that we had set you free..... and even if this was your decision to leave, I hope that you come back to stay... and I don't mean stay in the true sence of the word.... like I said the other day - we need to work on getting you your own apartment.... you were right and I was wrong.....
Your dad came in here this afternoon and said: "
if only he would give me a second change".... I know that he regrets every moment that he did not listen to you, every fishing trip that you two did not go on, every golf game that you did not play. Please consider that if nothing else - you own that to yourself to at least give it one more try - what do you have to lose - maybe a few weeks... that's it.
Please lets just start over - knock on the front door or give us a call and introduce yourself and we can start over.... I know that right now my promises does not mean much but I promise you that everything will be different....
Remember two weeks after you arrived here when you dad went to South Africa - we had a conversation about you having to prove yourself.... I am not going to elaborate but I know that you will remember.... We both had something to prove to each other - me as a stepmother and you as a stepson..... You had no problem proving yourself to me - I am proud of everything that you have accomplished in the past two years and you need to look in the mirror and be very proud of yourself.... I, on the other hand - I failed at the task of being a good stepmother to you.... I was not there for you and unless I get a second change to prove otherwise to you, I know that I will regret this for the rest of my life...... They say that things happen for a reason - that there is a plan for everything.... I never had kids and I think the reason for that is because you were in my life... I just wish that I did more with that wonderful oppurtunity that I had and maybe now have lost.
We love you and we really miss you,
Dad and Ma
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