Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-29 - 08:00pm

TODAY is the 29th of February; it only comes around once every four years...

I hope TODAY is very special for you...
I hope TODAY you find what you are looking for...
I hope TODAY you are happy...
I hope TODAY you are safe...
I hope TODAY you start missing us just a little...


Right now that is all we want for you.... Yes, we are very sad that you are not with us - and like I mentioned to you before - we would give anything to have you back home - but if we only knew that you were happy and safe we would be happy too....

TODAY is the day that I am going to stop blaming myself.... we are all a little guilty..... I am finding out things about you that I never knew.... you and I have had many conversations and I loved every one of them..... But what I realized is that you were asking the questions and I was telling the stories.... That being said - we still really don't know you....

In the past few weeks I found out that you wanted everyone at college to call you Rocky - I did not know that… You wanted to go to a group at church but you never said anything about that - I did not know that… You were an excellent tennis player – I did not know that (I could have guessed because you are good with everything you do)… I found out that you were the one participating in all the discussions in your classes - I never knew that… You are the one that always helps others… THAT I DID KNOW..... You are kind, considered and gentle.... you really don't have a bad bone in your body.... I am sorry that I did not acknowledge that but TODAY I BELIEVE that you will come home and I will have another chance....

There is so much that I now want to share with you.... I want to call your grandmother Joey and make peace with her and I want you to have her in your life... I know that you want that. I want you to get to know your cousins in South Africa - to know their children and for them to know you and love you as we do.... You have a wonderful family that has been kept away from you for way too long and TODAY I decided that if that is one of the things that I can help you with I will be very happy to do that....

TODAY is the first day of the rest of our lives so we need to make the most of it... Lets stop looking back, lets stop looking ahead, lets simply focus on TODAY...

We love you TODAY

Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-28 - 07:00pm

Today was no different than every day for the past three weeks - wake up and wish this was all a bad dream just to realize that we are living this nightmare.... Unless you come home or at least let us know where you are, the rest of my life will be the same... I will wake up every morning wondering why I did not realize that you were going to leave.... I know that people tell me: "He is 27 - he knew what he was doing...." but you know what - I don't believe that for a second. I think that you left because you felt that you did not have a choice..... and I am sure that if I was in your shoes I would have felt the same way..... Well - let me tell you something today - you could not be further from the truth than that.... We would never send you back home - other than going to visit there your place is here with us... you belong here.

There is a saying: IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING SET IT FREE - IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU IT IS YOURS - IF IT DOESN'T IF NEVER WAS...... I wish that we had set you free..... and even if this was your decision to leave, I hope that you come back to stay... and I don't mean stay in the true sence of the word.... like I said the other day - we need to work on getting you your own apartment.... you were right and I was wrong.....

Your dad came in here this afternoon and said: "if only he would give me a second change".... I know that he regrets every moment that he did not listen to you, every fishing trip that you two did not go on, every golf game that you did not play. Please consider that if nothing else - you own that to yourself to at least give it one more try - what do you have to lose - maybe a few weeks... that's it.

Please lets just start over - knock on the front door or give us a call and introduce yourself and we can start over.... I know that right now my promises does not mean much but I promise you that everything will be different....

Remember two weeks after you arrived here when you dad went to South Africa - we had a conversation about you having to prove yourself.... I am not going to elaborate but I know that you will remember.... We both had something to prove to each other - me as a stepmother and you as a stepson..... You had no problem proving yourself to me - I am proud of everything that you have accomplished in the past two years and you need to look in the mirror and be very proud of yourself.... I, on the other hand - I failed at the task of being a good stepmother to you.... I was not there for you and unless I get a second change to prove otherwise to you, I know that I will regret this for the rest of my life...... They say that things happen for a reason - that there is a plan for everything.... I never had kids and I think the reason for that is because you were in my life... I just wish that I did more with that wonderful oppurtunity that I had and maybe now have lost.


We love you and we really miss you,

Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-27 - 08:00pm

Today was a quiet day - your Dad made food in the crockpot and we thought about you at dinner - how you always have to wait for dinner when he picks me up from the aiport and you would have to smell the food for hours before we get home.... By the time we get home you can't wait to eat anymore.... :-)

If we only knew that you were safe.... of course we would give anything to have you home but we would give even more just to know that you are ok....

Your dad hurt his arm so he had to go to the doctor this morning - they gave him a shot in his elbow - listening to him tell the story is pretty funny.... I am sure that you know what I mean - he always make things worse than what they really are.

He said at one point he actially considered crying but then did not want to do that in front of the doctor.... You actually had to be there...... but I know that that will put a smile on your face - listening to him tell the story..... He likes to be silly some times.

He is busy building a trailer so he is having a hard time with that - trying to work with one arm.... But then again, he is tuff so he will survive and I am sure that he will be just fine in no time.... He really misses you and I know that he is finding a lot of things to do just to stay busy because if he stops it is going to drive him crazy not having you here anymore..... He said the other day that he should have spent more time with you - golfing, fishing, and just talking. He also said that he knows that it is to late and if he could get a second change he would do things so differently..... Last year he asked me about organizing a white river rafting trip for the two of you and I know that it would have been great for both of you... being out in the nature camping and doing all the good stuff together..... how much better do you get than that.....

It is funny that you grew up so far from him and yet you are so much like him. He said the other day that he really hopes that you are not as stubburn as him because if you are you will never come home... we talked about it for a while and then he decided that you have a side to you that will forgive and forget and we really hope that that is the case because if not, we are going to regret for the rest of our lives that we lost you and there will be nothing that we can do to change that.

I know that both of you will survive without each other but I know that there will always be that one part that will be empty because you need each other and I know that you love each other very much.

Well, that is all for now.....

We love you and we really really really miss you...
Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-26 - 04:00pm

I went to church today for the first time in a very long time. It really felt good and I am glad that I went. The service was about Wisdom..... I know that you are a very wise young man so I know that when you have thought about everything and decided what you wanted to do with your life you will come home. Being human sometimes makes us doubt but towards the end of the service the little kids (I would guess between 3 and 6) went up to the stage and said a verse out of the bible and then sang a little song.... It was so sweet but what touched me was not the fact that it was so sweet, it was the verse that caugt my attention..... they were talking about Hagar and Ishmael where they were sent away to wonder the desert.....

Genesis 21:14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba. 15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, "I cannot watch the boy die." And as she sat there, she began to sob. 17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation." 19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.

So no matter how alone you feel, you are not alone. And when your eyes are opened, I believe that you will come home. All of us (your Mom, Dad, me and uncle Emile) are waiting for you to come home.

We love and miss you very much.

Dad and Ma

PS: I "talk" to your Mom every day and she is also very worried about you.... Uncle Emile called your Dad this morning - we are all working together and very hard to try and find you.

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-25 - 08:00pm

We were invited to Syla's birthday party tonight - they are having a spit braai.... We really did not want to go because there is no ways that we will be able to have a party and not know where you are and what you are having for dinner. I just wish that you would call and let us know that you are ok.....

You know - there are so many wonderful people in the world and I know that you only see the good in other people - even if you have to dig very deep..... please dig deep in your heart tonight and see the good in the people that was in your life three weeks ago - please - and if possible - forgive them for everything that they have done to you that was not right.... and when you are done - take a good look in the mirror and know that you are worth loving....

There are many people all around the world tonight still praying for you and still positive that you are going to come home... I know because I am one of them.....

Have a good night and as always, we love you very much.

Dad and Ma.

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-24 - 04:00pm

I know that it is going to take me all day today to write something..... I have so much to say but I don't want to do it all out here. I probably slept an hour last night - if that much. I am so afraid that I am going to miss somthing important.... I heard from your mom a number of times during the night and she is very concerned about you.... If nothing else, please at least give her a call......

I am very worried about your family - your dad, your mom and most of all - you.....

I am going to Church on Sunday morning.... There is a Sunday Worship that starts at 10:30am. Here are the details of the Church if you decide to join me:
Conroe Church of Christ
1860 Longmire Road, Conroe, TX
(936) 756-8988

If you want to come home you can join me and we can come home together after the service - no questions asked.....

I believe in miracles and if you see your dad you will know what I mean.... If you don't show up I am not going to be disappointed - I will be sad not to see you - but will asume one of following:
1) You did not know about this;
2) You were not ready to come home;
3) You were not able to make it........
4) You did not want to see us....

You are a responsable young man so if you see this you decide what the right thing is to do. All I ask, if possible, is that you let us know that you are OK if you can.

We will love you no matter what you decide.


Love you
Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-23 - 06:00pm

Me again...... today was a really long day but as long as the days are the nights are even longer. I sleep a little better lately - two sessions of about two hours each...... I guess that is enough to keep me going and to keep my mind bright enough to work during the day....

I am going to send you another e-Mail and a Facebook mail later tonight.... there is so much that I want to tell you but I don’t want to tell the world... Just so you know - the reason why I am writing the blog is so if someone recognizes you they can tell you how much we love and miss you and how badly we want you to come home....

We are so sorry about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that we have ever done to hurt you and as much as we cannot promise that it will never happen again, we will always love you... and most of all, you belong here with us for right now.... I have been praying every night that you would find a way to forgive us for everything that we did wrong in the past two years that made you so unhappy and also that God would keep you safe everyday that you are away from us. I know that we can't always have what we ask from God but what I do know is that you deserve another shot at being happy and I know that we (Dad and I) are ready for that now... We are truely so sorry that it took this long for us to see what you mean to us....

I am not going to write much more tonight but know this as you go to sleep tonight.... We love you unconditionally - even if you don't believe it right now....

All our love,
Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-22 - 10:00pm

I hope you had a good day today - I hope that every day even if I don't say it.....

I spoke to your mom this morning..... she is very religious so I know that we have at least one more person to pray for your safe return..... she is as strong as you so I know that she will be OK. I promised her that I will let her know every night before I go to bed what the latest update is.... she is really worried about you - and so is your dad and I..... she wanted to change her phone number but she is going to keep it the same just in case you want to call her....

We had a little bit of luck today - this is not quite where we wanted to be but it is a step in the right direction..... we at least know where you are not.... :-) Yes, I know, that sounds silly but we have narrowed it down to one country and that is a good thing.... We have to keep the faith - keep thinking good thoughts.... however hard it might be sometimes..... Every little bit helps and this is a step in the right direction..... I believe that you are also taking steps - steps back to us..... so hopefully we can meet somewhere in the middle.....

If you could have seen your dad this morning it would have brought tears to your eyes.... I know how much you love him and I know that is the last thing that you wanted to do to him..... and I know that he loves you very much and that right now he will do anything in the world to get you back.... he said that if he only knew on Friday night (the night before you left) what he knows now things would have been so different.... and I promise you - it can be.... all we need is for you to come back home.... and if things do not work out... I promise you I will help you get your own apartment and I will give you all the extra stuff in the house that I was planning to through out anyway..... please just call us and we will come and get you (and I know that this will put a smile on your face - Reece asked God to show you the way if you got lost)

I pray that tonight is the night that I will get a call from you to come and get you.... no matter what time of the night or day.......

Lots and lots of Love
Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-22 - 09:00am

I have a very close friend that lives in Australia (Lana) that I have knows since I was 16.... we have been friends for many years and I consider her one of my best friends in this world.... we don't see each other much these days but that does not change the way we feel about each other and how close we are. She wrote me something the other night that I keep on reading over and over and everytime that I am about to give up hope, this is what I refer back to.... I really wanted to share that this morning:

We need to remember that our children actually belong to the Lord - God has only let us be custodians of them, and it is only with His help that we can raise these treasures to be worthy of our King and to be good citizens in this corrupt world.

I think maybe just letting go and dedicating Rocky back to God may help release the anxiety you are feeling. After all, there is only one other person who can parent Rocky better than what you and Peet (and Rocky's mom) have and that is God.
If you are anything like me, I am a real control freak - but in this case you may need to say "you know what, nothing I say or do can change things right now. So unless God takes the reins not much will happen." Rocky is surely a wise boy and he knows where his home is - he will be back - even if it is just for the meals you make!
You know, I had to laugh when I dished up dinner tonight - the smallest things remind me of you...we had baked beans, and I could distinctly remember the days I spent with you at your home in Arboretum and you made baked beans with custard!
I was telling Pieter about Rocky and Aspen kept asking who we were talking about and I told her it was aunty Vivian - mommy's best friend. I have to introduce her to you one day soon.....

Thank you my friend - I hope that one day soon I get to meet your two kids and you get to meet Rocky....

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-21 - 10:30pm

I know that I have to say something to you before I go to bed but at this stage I am fresh out of words.... This is by far the hardest thing that your dad and I have ever had to go through.... I can't even imagine what you are going through. I so badly just want to give you a huge big hug... just tell you that everything is going to be ok.... but how do I do that if I don't even know where you are....

I have to ask a favor of anyone that reads this tonight..... if you happen to see Rocky - or know where he is - please please please tell him that we love him very much and that we want him to come home. We really miss him and we can not live or breathe without him in our lives....

Rocky, there are so many people that are hurting right now.... Your "cousins" in California can't even talk about you without crying... I know that all of our families in South Africa is praying for your save return.... Not even to talk about your friends....

Tonight I have to tell your Mom that you are missing and I know that this is going to be very very hard for her.... I waited until now because I truely believed that you would be home by now and I wanted to spare her what I am going through.... I cannot wait any longer......

Please be safe and know that we love you with all our hearts...

Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-21 - 08:00am

While you were sleeping...... that used to be one of my favorite movies.... now I have to tell you what I did while YOU were sleeping......

I check the comments on my blog about 20 times.....
I check my e-mail about 20 times......
I check Facebook posts, messages and notifications about 20 times.....
I try to respond to every message I get - no matter what......
I think of ways to look for you.......
I search for your name on Google in case I missed something......
I listen to every sound because one of them might be you coming back.....
I imagine that I am going to wake up from this nightmare.........
Most of all - I wonder if you are OK - Cold? - Lonely? - Sad?........

And when the sun comes up I am happy because then we can start looking again.

Last night felt very long..... Every morning I hope that you had come back while we were sleeping..... Last night was not that night.... Today is another day so we can continue hoping and praying.......

We love you
Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-20 - 11:30pm

I was back working today - the good thing is that I can work from home for the next two weeks..... I cannot imagine what it would be like to leave the house and you are not here.....

What is sad is that I reached out to so many people - TV channels, Churches, you name it..... and I have tried it..... So far, only one has returned my e-mail message. Thanks so much to KPRC (Click-2-Houston) for taking the time to respond to me. Not one church has responded to my messages... I wanted to see if you maybe asked for help at a church or at a church shelter. I hope that's what you did.... I know that you are religious and that you will feel comfortable there..... and you know what - that gives me hope!!!

At one point today I was mad at you but right now I am more mad at myself. I was the last one to see you and I should have known that everything was not ok.... I should have seen it and I should have known better. Losing you once was bad - almost to the point where we did not recover, this time I know for sure that we won't recover. Right now I can not even imagine how to keep going.... I know that everyone says that and yet they go on.... I am not sure that I can do that. If there was only a way that we could talk to you - at least have a chance to sort things out but this is just driving us crazy.... If I knew that the hug you gave me just before you went to bed was the last one before you made the decision to leave I would have hugged you longer....

So many people all over the world is praying for you - South Africa, USA, New Zealand, Australia, Sweden, England, and many more.... If you listen close I am sure that you can hear it..... this is not general prayers - it is specific to you...... People all over the world want you to be safe.....

Your dad asked me tonight for your e-mail address - I think that he wrote you something.... you know as well as I do that that does not happen very often - this is really eating at him - I have never seen him like this and I am really worried about him.... I can tell you the rest of the story when you come home but for now I am going to try and sleep.....

We really love you and we would like nothing in the world more then for you to be here tonight.....

Lots and lots of love
Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-19 - 11:30pm

Another day and another disappointment....

A friend - Theresa - came over last night so that we could put up flyers today..... we drove around for a while just looking, putting up flyers, mailing out flyers to all the churches...... made a lot of phonecalls....

I am not sure what is next.... tomorrow I have to go back to work but it feels like I am abandening you if I don't keep this up.....

It feels like I have done everything humanly possible to find you but it is like finding a needle in a haystack ..... I don't even know if you are in Houston..... can only hope...

There is a girl that was in your classes and she is doing as much as I am - her name is Tina and she is soooo helpful and have so many good ideas..... she has put up fliers - sent e-mails to people that you know and talking with people that she thinks might be able to help....

Hopefully we have some good luck tomorrow and we either find you or you come home on your own.....

We love you and hope we see you soon....

Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-18 - 08:00pm

It has been two weeks today - you would think that I will get used to this - I don't think I can EVER stop crying. We had steak tonight - I know how much you like that.... I always make enough just in case you decide to come home..... I could hardly eat thinking that you may be hungry. O my gosh this is tough......

I have had a few really bad things in my life - my dad was murdered - I thought that I would never get over that.... I never did and I never will - in stead I learned to live with it...... Last year my baby niece died... I never met her but I am so close to my sister that her pain was my pain.... I was so much part of her life even though she was thousands of miles away in South Africa. It was one of the hardest things that I thought I would ever have to face...... until now.... What makes it hard is the fact of not knowing....... I trust that you will make the right decision if the choice is yours to make - and I really believe that it is....

I was fortunate to meet someone that you went to college with and she opened my eyes to so many things. I don't know why she was put into my life - I have known her for about 24 hours now and I would like you to know that she has made me realize that you were even more special..... people that know you loves you..... You can really feel very proud of yourself....

If you are maybe worried about what would happen when you come home or when you call..... I can promise you that it is going to be life changing.... better than you could ever imagine.... You say the word and we will be there - no questions asked.... Our lives are just not the same without you....

We love you and we miss you!!


Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-17 - 06:00pm

All and all today was a good day - besides the fact that we still have no idea where you are. The one thing that I wish more than anything in this world is that the people that tried to help us today could in stead have been there for you.

There are so many strangers that is helping us to see if we can find you. We have tried Facebook, Twitter, Blogging, Police Websites, and who knows what else and still nothing. I will never give up hope but I have to say - I just wish everyday that you will walk in and everything will be ok..... If you come home you don't have to tell us where you were or what you did or even why you left if you don't want to - ALL WE CARE ABOUT RIGHT THIS MINUTE IS THAT YOU COME HOME!!!

There are a few things about you that gives me hope:
1) I found an app on your phone - you downloaded the bible
2) You are a survivor - you have had a really hard life and despite it all you have become a great person

You have accomplished so much in such a short time and we are so proud of you. Maybe we pushed you to hard but what parent does not do that? They only want the best for their children. We will love you no matter what. You will have a home, you will have food, you will have love - no matter if you fail some of your courses. Of course we will never say that to you because no parent tell their child that it is OK to fail. But they don't stop loving or supporting you..... A parent's love is unconditional - We are first time parents to a 27 year old and you know what - it is just as hard for us as it is for you..... You have never given us any reason to doubt you. We really are very proud of you.

It has been raining for the past two weeks and I just have to wonder like so many nights before if you are warm enough and if you have enough food. I started off writing pages everyday but it is as if I have been drained and cannot write anymore. If you see this - I beg you - please come home!!! If you don't want to come home or feel that you are not ready - at least call or go to Heinrich and Susan - they have been helping us everyday and they would LOVE to have you.......

I hope that you can find it in your heart to fogive whatever we did wrong..... We love you and we hope that you feel the same!!

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-16 - 07:30am

We had - what I would consider - a great night. The word has spread and today there are 100's of people looking for him.

Thanks so much for everyone that is helping to spread the word. Between Peet and myself there is no way that we can cover the entire city - nevermind the entire country or even other countries BUT the way the word has spread we pretty much have every country covered. Thank you - thank you!!!!

There are no words to describe how grateful we are. Neither of us slept last night but with your help we might have a reason to have a good nights sleep tonight.

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-15 - 11:00pm

I am so sorry for not writing last night. I fell asleep in front of the TV - I slept for eight hours without waking up once.... I am still tired but at least it feels like my brain has been cleared..... hopefully.

What did we do for the past two days?

I started calling Private Investigator Companies - they did not want to help me because this was not an easy puzzle to solve. They asked questions like: Does he have a credit card? Does he have his cell phone? Does he drive a car? I would like to say to people that hired these detectives, they say their services are not guaranteed, no kidding. Unless I give them all the information of the avenues that any regular person would try there is not much they can do for you.....

OK, I am not giving up hope.... there are people praying all over the world and I believe that with the ultimate Private Investigator we are going to find him.

Debbie - our very close friend that has been here since last week - left today. We have been friends for 15 years now and once she heard that Rocky was missing she did not hesitate for one second to get on the first plane and be with us. I don't know how we would have gotten thru these past ten days with all the wonderful friends that we have.

We sent out e-mails to everyone we know in Houston today. Hopefully they have done the same. We are also going to put this on Facebook so please forward this message on to everyone so we have all the eyes that we can get to help find Rocky.

Some of our friends placed request on Facebook and hopefully we will have the entire Houston's eyes looking for him.

I still have not received anything from any of the TV channels that I sent e-mails to or left voice mails for.

Rocky, we love you and would like nothing in this world more than for you to be home with us. Call us and we will come and get you anywhere in the world where you are....

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-13 - 11:00pm

To all that reads this - here is an update on what we did today:

Another day of waiting.....
Waiting for the detecive to call..... he finally did
Waiting for the South African embasy to call........ still waiting
Waiting for miracles..... still waiting....

The worst part is the waiting.... Every time a car drives by you look out the window but it just keeps on driving - it is both good and bad.... good because there is hope that everything is still ok - bad because you still don't know where he is.

The second worse is the feeling that you need to do something but you don't know exactly what - and there are no books or flyers that can tell you what to do.... every case is different so there are no set rules on how to solve it.

We spoke to the cops today..... they still have nothing..... we are going to see what we can do to put photo's on the local news stations..... I sent e-mails and left voicemails to them all today. The detective is going to see form his side what he can do to help us get them on the news sooner than later.

We still need to hear from the embassy to see what they found.... hopefully we hear soon.... I am not holding my breath...

We are also talking to a private investigator tomorrow....

Hopefully one of these will give us some idea or have some positive results for us...... we can only hope and pray.

The college called today and they are cancelling his classes. It is so sad that in one day he went from being so proud of his accomplishments to walking away from it all.... I know that I are responsable for this somehow - I know that he had other issues also that he had to deal with but I am notsure what all contributed to this happening. We have had arguements before but we were always able to resolve them and then everything was good again.... There was nothing different that night..... I appoligized and he said "Appology accepted"..... that was a lie because if that was the truth why did he leave and why did he not call to tell us that he was ok?

I don't know how much longer I can do this..... I am so tired - I check his bank account every 30 - 60 minues to make sure that there is no activity.... that will at least give us some idication on where to look but so far there has been nothing since the 4th - that is 10 days already.....

People send me all these positive messages but I am having a really hard time staying positive...... I am doing my best but sometimes that is not good enough.

Regan called today - he spoke to Peet and myself and he is really sad also..... I am not forgetting that there are a lot of people that are going thru this with us.... the kids in particular... they are very fond of Rocky because he always plays with them - he is as hyperactive as what they are....... most likely more that them sometimes :-)

I need to get one good nighs sleep so I am going to take something to make me sleep.... that being said... I have been responding to e-mails, checking them, checking my Facebook account, bank account and anything else I can think of thru the night so tonight I am not going to do that. I will respond to all my friends and family when I wake up in the morning....

Thank you so much for all your love and support... not only for Peet and myself but also your love for Rocky....

To Rocky

I know that there is a big chance that you are not reading this but still I have to write every night just in case.

I don't know what else to say for you to come home - The college just called and unless you return soon they will not be able to keep you enrolled..... If you read this and you want to come home, please call us so we can come get you whereever you are... it does not even have to be in this state....

If you dont know by now how much we love you - even if we are always hard on you - then I guess there is not much more that I can say to convince you....

Your dad said this morning that he wish that you would come home so he could sort things out with you.... I know that you think you owe us and that you wanted to show the world that you can make it on your own.... well - we never doubted that for a moment, we know that you can do anything you put your mind to..... but right now you need to let us help you until you get your Greencard - then you can leave and never come back.... BUT please let us help you right now.... I can not promise that it will be perfect, we are going to fight, we are going to have arguments but you know what - that is what families do..... They don't stop loving each other every time they have a fight...... In the end it is not all bad....... whether we fight or not - we still love you and hopefully you still love us.....

We really want you to come home.... you are just like your dad - so stubburn....

One last thing.... I dont know if you realize how many people all over the world is praying for your save return........ if you knew - you would pick up a phone right this minute and call us to come get you......

If you still doubt that we love you I don't know what more I can say...

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-12 - 08:26pm

It is hard for me to sit and watch a movie or eat anything if I am not sure that you have food or if you are warm enough. I sleep on the couch every night so I would not miss you when you come home. I am out of words tonight.... I don't know what to say anymore......

Where are you? What are you doing? Are you sad? Are you mad? Do you think that we don't love you? I don't know anymore. I wish I did.

Today Debbie asked if we can go to IHOP tomorrow for breakfast..... I told her that that was where you and I always go when you dad is not at home so I don't want to go there is you can't go there.

Tomorrow is another day and we have a lot to do.... hopefully one of our efforts will finally pay off.....

I better get to bed so that I am rested for everything we have to do.....

Debbie changed her ticket today to stay until Wednesday - we are so grateful for her, Regan being so understanding and the girls (Robin, Rebecca, Roma and Reece) worrying about you... cousin Rocky ...

Love you lots and miss you even more...
Dad and Ma

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-11 - 11:30pm

I prayed harder today then what I have ever prayed in my life.... I feel so desperate...

I received two very encouraging e-mails from friends - Tara from Des Moines, IA and Susan from Texas.... thank you both very much.

We had friends over last night and again tonight.... it was very nice but I could not help thinking that you need these people - not us. We tend to reel other people how great out children are but we never for one moment stop and think that we need to tell our children.

At the same time we remind our children how lucky they are to have everything we never had but we never listen to them when they show us how much they appreciate it.....

It is really cold out tonight so I hope that you sleep well and that you are warm enough.


We love you and we are proud of you no matter what...

One last thing.... when you come home you can relax for the rest of the semester - no pressure - you will still be able to stay and work but not worry about school....

I am really worried about both you and your dad... I have never seen him like this before. I know that both of you have had hard lives and I will not even start to understand what you had or still have to deal with on a daily basis. One thing that I do know is that your dad loves you very much and I know that you love him too...


Lets all work out whatever issues there are TOGETHER.... PLEASE!


Lots and lots of love

Dad and Ma..

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-11 - 02:22pm

This is so frustrating.....

I called the detective - voicemail.....
I called the embassy - voicemail.....
I called the consulate - voicemail..... even the emergency numbers....

Well never give up. I saw something on your phone last night that gave me a little hope that you will come home.... You had the BIBLE app downloaded on your phone. There are so many people praying for you that I know you must know....

I know they say that hindsight is 20/20.... now that I look back I know that I should have backed you up more - I should have done what was right and not what was easy. You leaving have opened my eyes to a lot of things that I oterwise never would have seen or known.

I have never seen your dad so sad. He knows that he too messed up a good thing - no a great thing. You are someone to be proud of - you are just such a good person and we know that...... everyone that knows you loves you.

When (and yes I say when) you come home - we are going to be the best parents you ever had - you dad the number one dad - and me, the number two mom.... I know how much you love your mom and she has to get credit for raising you and making you what you are today..... I will be a happy second and hopefully I can be half as good to you as your own mother.


I love you and I really hope that you know we are very very worried about you.

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-10 - 11:30pm

Still nothing .....

It was my birthday today and I received more than 100 messages..... none of that really mattered because you were not here to share it with me.

Ronel and Gerhard was here tonight with the boys and I really felt so much better when they left.... They gave us so many ideas to work with. I also have to add that the boys are very sad. The are walking around school with photo's of you to try and find you.

Heinrich and Susan was here als with the girls. It is not the same without you. We had a braai but no-one really ate. I feel to guilty to laugh bcause if you are looking in you might think we are happy.

Once again I wished that you knew how many people love you!!!!

With every day that passes I feel worse and worse..... what were you thinking..... I would like to say one thing to you just in case you are reading this: you know that you dad is not a man of many words.... he would give anything to sit down and talk to you... I can promise you that he will do that from now on. We had a great idea today but I am not going tell you about that yet.... I have to get up early tomorrow morning to see if this is a good option or not.

I hope that you have a good night's rest and fall asleep knowing how much we love and miss you....

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-09 - 11:30pm

Saturday - 2012-02-04:
The first thing we did was to call the cops.... they come out to the house and started asking questions.... how long has he been gone? Not 24 hours yet? Sorry we can not really do anything...

We saw that there were transactions on his bank account but he must have entered the incorrect pin code for his ATM card - he was not able to get money.... we saw him on the surveilance tape - he was all alone and could not get money to buy food..... it was so cold and he was soaked - it had rained very hard during the night and he had walked.

We drove around and asked everyone along the way if they might have seen him but no-one remember seeing anyone. We came home around 7pm and as soon as we got home I check the bank account again. He had tried two more times to get money so we jumped in the car and rushed to where he got money but by the time we got there he was long gone.

I have been worried that he had no money to by food and could not eat..... The questions that keeps going around in my head is what is he eating, where is he sleeping, is he cold, is he sad..... No matter where he is I just want him to be safe.

Sunday - 2012-02-05:
We got up early and started driving around the place we last tried to get money. We also drove around the college in case he was in that area.... we went to the mall, walked all over there, looked in every fast food restaurant.... I just want him to know that we are not giving up... we have to find him.... this is really driving me crazy. In addition to us looking, we also had our good friends Susan and Heindich and their girls looking. Nicole has a special name for Rocky and she could not stop crying.... she really loves him and wants to know if he is safe and when he is coming home. We also had David and Renee helping with the search. I am not sure that Rocky realizes how many people loves him.

Peet and I were going to California for a week but we cancelled our trip to make sure that we are here in case he decided to come home..... I am not sure if I can ever leave the home again....... I just want to cry all the time.....

Monday - 2012-02-06:
Peet drove around again and again - start talking to people in homeless shelters but this also is a dead end. A friend of the family - Debbie - decides to fly in early Tuesday morning to come and help. I start pulling all the homeless shelters in the area and also get all the number for missing persons. We call people that he worked with last year - Syla and Jakes - they promise to keep and eye out in case he comes in their direction. Regan called several times and said that he was praying for your safe return.

Tuesday - 2012-02-07:
More homeless shelters, emergency rooms to make sure that he is ok..... Again the mall - Walmart - the area around the college...... printing photo's..... I research websites for missing persons and find out that there is no 24 hour wait to report a missing person. We call the cops again and this time they start calling some of his friends... After talking to a few people they decide that this is not a regular run-a-way and they hand the case over to the detectives...

Wednesday - 2012-02-08:
A drive down to Galveston, Freeport and Surfside...... again the mall, the area around the college.... Still nothing!!

Thursday - 2012-02-09:
My sister - Jacquie - calls first thing in the morning to find out if we have any news - she lives in South Africa. This is when I decide to write this blog... Today we went to the college. We spoke with Rocky's boss and also the Vice President of the college.... They all just love him - can not stop talking enough of what a hard worker he is and how much everyone gets along with him. If nothing else I know that Rocky was very proud of his job and he loved it. He is a good, hard working young man that any parent could be proud of. The people at the college was absolutely wonderful - Randy (Rocky's boss) was wonderful and and called the Vice President out of a meeting to come talk to us. Beside talking on behalf of the college, he also offered his personal help to search for Rocky. So much love going around.

Rocky - I love you!!!

I have never really talked about religion before but I have been praying more in the last few days then what I have ever prayed in my life before. There are so many people praying.... My friend Theresa and her cirle of friend - last night her and the two kids said a prayer for Rocky's safe return. My friend Tara from Des Moines have been saying prayers, our friends Susan and Heinrich, Renee and David, Ronel and Gerhard, Ted and Carlene (and I hope that I did not leave anyone out) - all have been saying prayers for him. I said to one of my friends that I made a promise to go to church with Rocky when he gets back......


I dont know what tomorrow will hold..... It is my birthday and I have told Peet and my friends that I did not want to celebrate without Rocky. The only thing that I want for my birthday is to have him home.....

We love you - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come home!!!

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-02-09 - 08:00am

Where do I start......

I was never able to have kids and the way I feel today I understand why. I had a great oppurtunity that I totally messed up with my stepson.... I tried to give him everything I thought he needed without listening to what HE needed. He came to live with us two years ago - at 25 - and he really had no demands.... all he wanted and needed was a regular home with regular parent.... nothing more than that... it was so simple - but we did not see it until we woke up on Saterday morning - February 4th 2012 - and realized that he was gone...

What do we do now? How can we tell him that we love him and we will make things better unless he comes home? The grades are not important, YOU are important. Parents - give your kids a hug today - actually listen to what the have to say - give them a chance to talk..... please come home and give me a second chance!

...and to all the stepmothers and stepfathers out there - you are only "step" because you choose be...

I hope this morning that my SON is listening - you are my son and I love you!!

Please come home and give me a second chance!