We have just had two very tough days.... Your dad was out of town with Susan and Heinrich and I had the girls for a day or so.... I could not leave because I was still at work and they could not wait for me to get home. I cannot give to much detail here but someday I I'll tell you everything..... Let's just say that your dad had a long conversation with Tarra from New Orleans - please read our Facebook email where I will I've you more info and your dad will also send you an email in the next few days.... He said that he believes in you and no matter what you can come home.... I know that we said that if you do some things wrong or if you leave to never come back.... Those or words that are easily said when you are not in that situation but when you are there they are the furthest from the truth that you can ever get.... You would always have a place in our house as you would always have a place in our hearts.
Rocky we have done a lot to find you - you have no idea. I know that you said for us to not spend money to look for you but it is like me telling you not to breath... It is just simply something that is not possible to do. We cannot stop looking.... In the last few days both your dad and I spoke with Tarra and we also spoke with your "big brother".... The one thing that stands out everywhere is how much people like you.... :-)
I know I have said this so many times but I would like to remind you again: We would like nothing more than for you to come home. We have so many things to resolve - and we have so many things to apologize for. We love you and we miss you so please please giVe us a call or let us know where you are and if you want we can get you home. Rocky, just so you know you got your scholarship so if you come home you can pay for your own classes... That way you can use you salary to rent a room somewhere if you decide that you don't want to stay with us.... I really think that it is important for you to finish college.... I know that I don't have the right to tell you what to do - but like I said before, if you want to provide for a wife and child(ren) some day, it is very important to finish college.... You are very talented and very very hard working so there is no doubt in my mind that you can get a good job and make good money but with a college degree you can get more money and an even better job.... Just something for you to consider.
You are very special to us, we love you very much and we really miss you...
Dad and Ma
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Bring Rocky Home - 2012-03-30 - 02:00pm
Here is a photo of little "Stokkie" (Nicole) for you......
I will write again tonight but just wanted to make sure that I get this to you today.
Love you very much and hope to see you soon.
Ma
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Bring Rocky Home - 2012-03-29 - 11:00pm
I am sorry that I did not write last night. I was so hopeful that we would finally find you but I guess that God had other plans for today. That does not mean that we are giving up.... Like I mentioned before we will try until we find you - no matter what.... Tomorrow is another day and people around the world is praying for you again today...
You know sometimes you read a book or the bible and it feels like what you reading is so appliable to you that it was written just for you.... Most often it is as if you get answers to questions that you have not even asked....
Well I hope this tonight will be like that for you.
1) You are not a burden for us.... You are a hard worker and thinking about it there is really nothing we can complain about that you do..... yes we do fight with you and we Do remind you that you are lucky to have this opportunity but that does not mean we mind paying for your college.
2) We might not have all the money in the world but we are proud of what you have accomplished and we would like to see you complete college.... We felt so proud of you at your graduation for your GED and I know that you did also.
3) I know what you are doing now and I alo know why you are doing it - and even though I would much rather have you safe and sound at home, at the same time I am proud of how far you haven gotten on you own. That said, I do not approve of what you are doing or how you are going about it.
4) In life - we all get delt a hand and we have to live with it no matter what. Some of us (like me) are lucky and have loving parents, do well at school and go to college.... Some of us are from broken homes and have to fend for ourselves from a young age and most often don't even make it through school. But you know what, in the end it all evens out.... I grew up in a loving caring family and always wanted children but because of some unexplainable illness could never have children. You end up with the other half of your family an ends up going to college.... So there the balance as been restored..... If you put the two of us together - I can now have the child and you can have the college....
Now you left and neither of us what we need in life.... So you see, I am doing something for you (paying for college) but you are also filling a gap in my life.... Something that you now took away from me....
The point I am trying to make is that regardless of what you think - you do as much for me as what I do for you....
I beg you to call it a day and come home. I will pray again tonight that by some miracle you run into someone you know tomorrow and end up back at home soon....
Love you lots and really really miss you.
Ma
You know sometimes you read a book or the bible and it feels like what you reading is so appliable to you that it was written just for you.... Most often it is as if you get answers to questions that you have not even asked....
Well I hope this tonight will be like that for you.
1) You are not a burden for us.... You are a hard worker and thinking about it there is really nothing we can complain about that you do..... yes we do fight with you and we Do remind you that you are lucky to have this opportunity but that does not mean we mind paying for your college.
2) We might not have all the money in the world but we are proud of what you have accomplished and we would like to see you complete college.... We felt so proud of you at your graduation for your GED and I know that you did also.
3) I know what you are doing now and I alo know why you are doing it - and even though I would much rather have you safe and sound at home, at the same time I am proud of how far you haven gotten on you own. That said, I do not approve of what you are doing or how you are going about it.
4) In life - we all get delt a hand and we have to live with it no matter what. Some of us (like me) are lucky and have loving parents, do well at school and go to college.... Some of us are from broken homes and have to fend for ourselves from a young age and most often don't even make it through school. But you know what, in the end it all evens out.... I grew up in a loving caring family and always wanted children but because of some unexplainable illness could never have children. You end up with the other half of your family an ends up going to college.... So there the balance as been restored..... If you put the two of us together - I can now have the child and you can have the college....
Now you left and neither of us what we need in life.... So you see, I am doing something for you (paying for college) but you are also filling a gap in my life.... Something that you now took away from me....
The point I am trying to make is that regardless of what you think - you do as much for me as what I do for you....
I beg you to call it a day and come home. I will pray again tonight that by some miracle you run into someone you know tomorrow and end up back at home soon....
Love you lots and really really miss you.
Ma
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Bring Rocky Home - 2012-03-27 - 11:00pm
I have learnt a lot in the last seven weeks..... Mostly I have learnt that I cannot always be in control. I have learnt that I have to trust that God will help me if I get desperate sometimes. I get desperate thinking of what you are going through, wishing I can talk with you, wishing that I can tell you that everything is gong to be ok..... There is so much that I want to say to you. The only way that I can think to do that is to write this blog and to hope that by some miracle you will get the opportunity to read it.
Rocky, I take a walk often during the day just to pray that God will keep you safe, I feel like I have asked God for so much in the past seven weeks that I don't have the right to ask for anything else.... In spite of that I pray that you find your way back home..... We need you at home. This is where you belong - here with your dad and me.
I keep on thinking of what else I can do o find you - who can I talk to - who can I write to - where can I drive to? There are so many questions but there are no answers.... I can main letters and then I have to be patient until I get an answer back.... Always the answer that I don't want, but you know what, it only takes one.... only one letter to the right person at te right time..... OR one person to see you that know that we are looking for you. I will TRUST, HOPE & WAIT...... When the time is right we will find you....
I hope you have a very good night's sleep - I hope that you had enough food to eat and I hope that you can follow your heart back to us.
We love you very much and we miss you more and more every day!
Dad and Ma
Rocky, I take a walk often during the day just to pray that God will keep you safe, I feel like I have asked God for so much in the past seven weeks that I don't have the right to ask for anything else.... In spite of that I pray that you find your way back home..... We need you at home. This is where you belong - here with your dad and me.
I keep on thinking of what else I can do o find you - who can I talk to - who can I write to - where can I drive to? There are so many questions but there are no answers.... I can main letters and then I have to be patient until I get an answer back.... Always the answer that I don't want, but you know what, it only takes one.... only one letter to the right person at te right time..... OR one person to see you that know that we are looking for you. I will TRUST, HOPE & WAIT...... When the time is right we will find you....
I hope you have a very good night's sleep - I hope that you had enough food to eat and I hope that you can follow your heart back to us.
We love you very much and we miss you more and more every day!
Dad and Ma
Monday, March 26, 2012
Bring Rocky Home - 2012-03-26 - 08:30pm
Today someone very important in my life died - he was a lifelong family friend and also the first boss I ever worked for.... I was only 20 years old when I graduated from college with no experience in the workforce whatsoever - He took a chance with me - put his neck on the line for me and I had to work hard to not disappoint him. We got along really well so hopefully I did ok. He taught me so much - not only in my job but also some very important life lessons... He was also the person that wrote a motivation for me to move from a Treasury job to an IT job and in a way responsible or me living in America today.
I am sure that you are wondering why I am sharing this with you... There is one thing that he said to me that I will remember for he rest of my life: DON'T EVER BE SORRY ABOUT ANYTHING THAT YOU DO - JUST LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES! That is so true - we all have done something in out lives that we are not proud of... In most cases there is nothing that you can do after the fact - the important thing is to learn from it and do your best not to make the same mistake twice. We need to take responsibility for our actions and that is a really hard thing to do. Most often it is pride that stands in our way. It takes a special kind of person to admit that the acted without thinking but once you do that, you can start to focus on the things that is important in life and not be sorry that we did not spend more time with the people that matter most in our lives...
Now you may think that this is meant for you... With the exception of one thing that you need to do, this is applicable to me only....
- I am sorry that I did not talk to you more often. What I will do from now on is to find out one thing every day about you that I did not know.
- I am sorry that I was always impatient. What I will do from now on is to pray that God helps me to be more patient.
- I am sorry that we did not do more things together as a family. What I will do from now in is to join you and dad when you go golfing for example, or if you ask me so nicely to do something with you and I prefer to do Scrapbooking instead.
- I am sorry that I did not tell you that I love you more often, or that I am proud of you, or just that we love having you around. What I will do from now on is to make sure that you know how much you are loved and appreciated and not only fous on the negative things.
- I am sorry that I did not listen to you more often. From now on I will start to listen and not always have to get in the last word.
These are only a few of the things that I have time to list - I can go on all night if I did not have to sleep :-).
So Rocky, we love you very much and we miss you more than ever. The only thing for you here is to return home so that we can be a family again.
Oom (uncle) Joop, may you rest in peace and thank you so much for all the priceless lesson and values that I learnt from you and also for an absolutely wonderful start to my career.
You will be missed.
I am sure that you are wondering why I am sharing this with you... There is one thing that he said to me that I will remember for he rest of my life: DON'T EVER BE SORRY ABOUT ANYTHING THAT YOU DO - JUST LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES! That is so true - we all have done something in out lives that we are not proud of... In most cases there is nothing that you can do after the fact - the important thing is to learn from it and do your best not to make the same mistake twice. We need to take responsibility for our actions and that is a really hard thing to do. Most often it is pride that stands in our way. It takes a special kind of person to admit that the acted without thinking but once you do that, you can start to focus on the things that is important in life and not be sorry that we did not spend more time with the people that matter most in our lives...
Now you may think that this is meant for you... With the exception of one thing that you need to do, this is applicable to me only....
- I am sorry that I did not talk to you more often. What I will do from now on is to find out one thing every day about you that I did not know.
- I am sorry that I was always impatient. What I will do from now on is to pray that God helps me to be more patient.
- I am sorry that we did not do more things together as a family. What I will do from now in is to join you and dad when you go golfing for example, or if you ask me so nicely to do something with you and I prefer to do Scrapbooking instead.
- I am sorry that I did not tell you that I love you more often, or that I am proud of you, or just that we love having you around. What I will do from now on is to make sure that you know how much you are loved and appreciated and not only fous on the negative things.
- I am sorry that I did not listen to you more often. From now on I will start to listen and not always have to get in the last word.
These are only a few of the things that I have time to list - I can go on all night if I did not have to sleep :-).
So Rocky, we love you very much and we miss you more than ever. The only thing for you here is to return home so that we can be a family again.
Oom (uncle) Joop, may you rest in peace and thank you so much for all the priceless lesson and values that I learnt from you and also for an absolutely wonderful start to my career.
You will be missed.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Bring Rocky Home - 2012-03-25 - 12:30pm
Let me try and explain why each of these questions were important to me and why I asked you to think about them:
1) Were things so bad all the time that you would rather live on the streets than be with us?
You wrote something down on a piece of paper that night and I got mad at you.... I am not going to repeat it but is that the main reason why you left? If not, I would like to know what the biggest issues are in your mind.
2) Are you doing this because you think that we don't want you with us and that we are better off with you gone?
We would not have it any other way.... We were all still getting to know each other, trying to figure out what works and what does not. We were not always (or maybe never) very good at it but it would all have worked out eventually.
3) Did we just expect to much of you and that was not what you wanted to do?
You are such a hard worker and you don't complain to much so I did not realize under how much pressure you really were. You did so well but maybe it all was just to much - also if you take what you wrote on the piece of paper in one into account it will be to much for anyone.
4) What do we have to do for you to come back home?
Please think about this very carefully and write everything down - this is the one chance that you have to say ANYTHING that you want with absolutely no negative response whatsoever......
Most kids leave home but they keep in contact with their parents. I just don't feel that this is the wthey that you should go about this. Running away from your problems does not solve them - you take then with you. At some point in your future, the issues that you did not deal with now will pop up again and who knows, maybe then there are more children involved and surely you wish a better childhood for your children than what you had to deal with and are still dealing with. I know that I have no right to give you advice, but believe me it is better to face your issues now that later....
Please just think very long and hard about each of these questions and if you really and truly decide that you did the right thing, let us know and we will call it a day and respect your decision.... BUT please, you at least need to give us a call and talk to both of us and answer a few questions before we will stop the search....
We love you very much and we miss you..
Dad and Ma
1) Were things so bad all the time that you would rather live on the streets than be with us?
You wrote something down on a piece of paper that night and I got mad at you.... I am not going to repeat it but is that the main reason why you left? If not, I would like to know what the biggest issues are in your mind.
2) Are you doing this because you think that we don't want you with us and that we are better off with you gone?
We would not have it any other way.... We were all still getting to know each other, trying to figure out what works and what does not. We were not always (or maybe never) very good at it but it would all have worked out eventually.
3) Did we just expect to much of you and that was not what you wanted to do?
You are such a hard worker and you don't complain to much so I did not realize under how much pressure you really were. You did so well but maybe it all was just to much - also if you take what you wrote on the piece of paper in one into account it will be to much for anyone.
4) What do we have to do for you to come back home?
Please think about this very carefully and write everything down - this is the one chance that you have to say ANYTHING that you want with absolutely no negative response whatsoever......
Most kids leave home but they keep in contact with their parents. I just don't feel that this is the wthey that you should go about this. Running away from your problems does not solve them - you take then with you. At some point in your future, the issues that you did not deal with now will pop up again and who knows, maybe then there are more children involved and surely you wish a better childhood for your children than what you had to deal with and are still dealing with. I know that I have no right to give you advice, but believe me it is better to face your issues now that later....
Please just think very long and hard about each of these questions and if you really and truly decide that you did the right thing, let us know and we will call it a day and respect your decision.... BUT please, you at least need to give us a call and talk to both of us and answer a few questions before we will stop the search....
We love you very much and we miss you..
Dad and Ma
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Bring Rocky Home - 2012-03-24 - 11:59pm
I hope that you had a fun day today.... My day was fun - as you know, I just love Scrapbooking so it is always fun for me... There was a wonderful group of people here and of course Renee. Theresa and her kids stopped by to say hi and bring Renee and I Starbucks..... What better can I do over a weekend?
I wish I could just pick up the phone and call you.
Rocky, we will not stop you to do whatever you want but for us not to have contact with each is just crazy. We are family after all and family are suppose to be there for each other... Everybody needs somebody and right now we need you.... I know that I am your stepmother but I love you and care about you like you are my son so I worry about you more than you know.
I am very tired tonight and need to go sleep. With regard to the questions that I asked you yesterday, I will tell you more about that tomorrow night...
Love you lots and I miss you very much...
Ma
I wish I could just pick up the phone and call you.
Rocky, we will not stop you to do whatever you want but for us not to have contact with each is just crazy. We are family after all and family are suppose to be there for each other... Everybody needs somebody and right now we need you.... I know that I am your stepmother but I love you and care about you like you are my son so I worry about you more than you know.
I am very tired tonight and need to go sleep. With regard to the questions that I asked you yesterday, I will tell you more about that tomorrow night...
Love you lots and I miss you very much...
Ma
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)